July 2010
FAMILY OBLIGATIONS
MINIMALIST WRITING
Embellishing comes naturally, I think. When we write a blog post wherever we tend to be like ‘Today I went out with A and B, B was late again she’s such a whore like that, coming only she feels like it, and A was starting to look lobsterlike from waiting under the sun for too long and I had gotten so hungry I felt like I could fuckin’ eat her if push came to shove…’...
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I have a plant in my room now. I'm not sure I'm...
HOW TO SPOT THE STUFF YOU SHOULDN'T BOTHER READING
“Mum?” Harry James Potter headed upstairs in his family’s manor. His long time boyfriend, Draco Malfoy, followed him.
“Yes, sweetheart?” Lily Potter appeared at the top of the stairs. “Hello, Draco.”
Draco smiled. “Hi, Lily.”
“What’s going on?”
“Draco’s father just got in touch with us. Peter Pettigrew and...
CURSE YOU ALEX DAAAY
What he said:
What I said (and proceeding cringe-worthy fangirllike responses):
GROANS—
GETTING CARRIED AWAY
Check it out bitches. According to the Internet I’m now Eleanor Black. I’M A RICH BASTARD WHO OWNS A CREEPY ASS HOUSE-
A VERY POTTER SEQUEL SQUEAL
JUST LIKE PICKING VEGETABLES
My man would be Dr Sheldon Cooper’s brain in Daniel Radcliffe’s body with Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s face.
LIFE IS UNFAIR
Yesterday night, I slammed a dictionary against a fly and now its remains lay flattened against my rose white bedroom walls, its insect-soul already on its way to heaven while I live in pathetic consolation that ‘it didn’t feel a thing, I bet’.
DAILY DOSE OF SHOCK AND HORROR
Sometimes, the everyday ongoings in my life still make my eyes bug out in a Pillsbury moment.
‘She told me to leave her alone. I AM SO BLOODY IMPORTANT AND SHE TOLD ME TO LEAVE HER ALONE,’ said my mum, after my ‘vicious’ text due to severe lapse in judgment. ‘Let’s see how she gets by AFTER I LEAVE HER ALONE OH YOU’LL BE JUST FINE I’M SURE,’...
UPDATE AND ALL THAT
I wish I could install a GPS tracking device on the NERDCARD. Which would be epic cool, cos then I’ll really be able to track down its progress like how those scientists do on baboons and whales. Anyhow, Patient Zero has completed her, er, square and will be mailing it on SOON which is very exciting news. More exciting news:
Premiering over YouTube on July the Twenty Second. Woah yeah!
YOUTUBE PEOPLE ZAT WE LURVE
Its a little small, like me. You don’t know how much I went through for this, so imma leave it at this.
FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS HEM HEM
It didn’t work out.
DORKY LAMENTATIONS
You owned my heart like Inception owned The Matrix.
OSTRICHES DON'T ACTUALLY STICK THEIR HEADS...
via therockstar.tumblr.com
ALRIGHT ENOUGH WITH THE MIND-BOGGLING TODAY.
GOING TO COLLEGE
I’ll be taking the train to school every morning, just a 30 minute or so ride amongst everybody else. I won’t have a roomate, because I won’t be boarding because, well, my house isn’t really very far away. I’ll lug around my books and laptop just as I have for the past 6 ish years of my education. I’ll have the same friends just as I have for the past few years,...
